Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
4 words: hood of his car
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
