I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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