Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
