Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize