I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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