I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
