If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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