You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
