quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize