Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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