Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
