apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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