I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
