We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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