I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love you.
Bad choice
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