so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
