Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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