Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize