I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
