So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
