I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
