Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
