I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
