Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
