dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
