My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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