It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
