wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
