I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
