What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
