I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
