Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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