I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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