meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize