Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
