New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
