WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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