We named our party play list daddy issues
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
