im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
