wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
