so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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