just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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