White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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