check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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