We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize