so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
