I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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