used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
