I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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