It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
