Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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