Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
