I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
