I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
