I need to stop coming to work sober
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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