I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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