I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
