What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
