hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
