I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
