i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
